Networks
Remember NetBeui to AppleTalk to IPX/SPX to TCP/IP to UDP to SNA to
Flexible Load Balancing (FLB)
Unbalanced loads cause more Internet-based injuries each year than Yoga and Professional Volleyball combined.
FLB is an alphabetic leap forward from traditional ELB services, giving you the edge you need when sharing the load.
PVC
You'll need a container in which to encapsulate all your virtual services. This one's made of poly-vinyl chloride.
Stormfront with Mirai Compatibility
Your data can't be everywhere at once. Or can it? Welcome to Stormfront, harnessing the power of Mirai, a globally distributed Botnet, designed to put your website data on every computer in the entire world. Imagine the response time your customers will receive when they try to reach your site and it's running on localhost! Part of our "with ... Compatibilty" family of services. Caution: some of your website data may be encrypted and translated to Cyrillic during distribution.
Jesus, seriously?
I know we hate popups too, but we saw you hesitate for just a second there and thought to ourselves, well maybe they're looking for some way to ask us to send them a huge amount of promotional email-based marketing, and so we just thought we'd ask...?