Accolades, Acclaim, and Approbation
Best Cloud Site!
Voted Best Cloud website by Website magazine (print edition).
Named LEADER in September 2020 Forrrester Wave!
We're so proud to announce that TheRobCloud has been once again named a Leader in the top right corner of the latest Forrrester Wave evaluating mostly non-existent Clouds, just edging out IBM Cloud.
We're indebted to Forrrester Rrresearch, the home of the best fake ratings in the technology industry. No, seriously we owe them a lot of money for this review.
So hopefully you're impressed.
"Best Thing Ever, No Reservations"
TRC was recently named "Best Thing Ever, No Reservations" by TRC Fan Site PointyHair Group, who publish the acclaimed "Last Several Months in TRC", the occasional newsletter that links to banal and pointless stories about TRC, while downplaying it's own brand relentlessly.
"We can't find a thing to complain about at TheRobCloud," the newsletter gushed recently. "We're of the belief that it's not only the best cloud, but also the best thing ever created by mankind. It should not change, it should stay the same forever, because it is perfect. If you need help with your TheRobCloud bill, please contact us here at PointyHair Group and we'll tell you what an idiot you are for criticizing the majesty that is TheRobCloud!!! Heresy!!!!"
Our marketing department insisted we put this up here, but truthfully, we've had the guy at PointyHair group going to our Spam filter for a few months now, cause it's just a little uncomfortable. Maybe if they at least tried to be funny...
Certified Seven Sigma
In April 2020, the Project Management Institute, and it's affiliated International Institute of Testing and Certification announced at their global Testing and Certification Symposium on Certification Accreditations for testing and certifying authorities, that TheRobCloud has officially been certified as a coveted Seven Sigma process efficiency organization.
Testing now shows that TRC is at the level of Seven Sigma, at which point, any errors made by our organization actually correct other, undetected errors from before we got our Six Sigma.
"This impressive level of self-healing and self-correcting efficiency could only be achieved by an organization committed to paying for certification classes for every one of its employees," said PMI's VP of Sigma Ron Phillipson.
Our guiding Rules of Thumb (more coming soon)
Synergy
Prosperity
Security
Patrick Henry once said "We must all hang together or assuredly we will all hang separately." But also remember the words of Dr. E. L. Kersten who said "None of us is as dumb as all of us." Synergy, a portmanteau of Stupidity and Energy, is behind everything we do here at TheRobCloud. Synergy make everything better. Synergy papers over so
Patrick Henry once said "We must all hang together or assuredly we will all hang separately." But also remember the words of Dr. E. L. Kersten who said "None of us is as dumb as all of us." Synergy, a portmanteau of Stupidity and Energy, is behind everything we do here at TheRobCloud. Synergy make everything better. Synergy papers over so many individual failures. And at the end of the day, Synergy sells.
Security
Prosperity
Security
Profit is Job 1 here at TheRobCloud. But Security is also important. We operate all of our services using a "Shared Responsibility Model." You may have heard the song. Together, we can make the cloud more secure than the best data centers. In the shared responsibility model you are responsible for security IN the cloud, and WE are responsible for telling you about the Shared Responsibility Model.
Prosperity
Prosperity
Watching. Always Watching
Look, you've got a six figure bonus on the line. Choosing a cloud vendor isn't something you ever envisioned doing. Hell, you didn't even know what "the cloud" was when you took this job. So pick the cloud that has Prosperity as one of its three key buzzwords. TheRobCloud can help you deliver secure solutions that deliver synergistic diff
Look, you've got a six figure bonus on the line. Choosing a cloud vendor isn't something you ever envisioned doing. Hell, you didn't even know what "the cloud" was when you took this job. So pick the cloud that has Prosperity as one of its three key buzzwords. TheRobCloud can help you deliver secure solutions that deliver synergistic differentiation to maximize stakeholder value and align with executive leadership. Help us prosper and you may too!
Watching. Always Watching
Watching. Always Watching
Watching. Always Watching
Measurements, metrics, KPIs, OKRs, strategic initiatives, Daily Business Reviews. They're not going to create and enforce themselves, people. At TheRobCloud, we've always got our eye on the bottom line, and on our employees' laptops, and on your website cookies. Cause you never know when you might need to put someone's browser history to good use.
Obfuscation
Watching. Always Watching
Obfuscation
Darkened rooms full of shifty characters making decisions based on arguments that will never be explained in the light of day may not have been the best way to pick a presidential candidate in the late 60s, but it sure is a great way to keep quarterly earnings up in this day and age. We strive to be as transparent as we can possibly seem to be, and our shadowy board will back us up on that 100%.
CONTEXT
Watching. Always Watching
Obfuscation
Context matters. When all your devices are listening, you need a service that will understand the important contextual clues that go with it. For example, if you own the RobCloud Reverberation home assistant, and you're blind, and having this read through your assistive device, and I was to say "ROBCLOUD, BUY 1250 PALLETS OF CHARMIN TOILE
Context matters. When all your devices are listening, you need a service that will understand the important contextual clues that go with it. For example, if you own the RobCloud Reverberation home assistant, and you're blind, and having this read through your assistive device, and I was to say "ROBCLOUD, BUY 1250 PALLETS OF CHARMIN TOILET PAPER. CONFIRM." That wouldn't provide much context. Would it?
13 Pizza Boxes and a side of breadsticks
Delivers Obsession with Highest Curious Ownership, A lot
13 Pizza Boxes and a side of breadsticks
We're often asked how we build so many great services so quickly and without all the rigamarole associated with a big company like ours. Well, one approach we use is referred to as the 13 Pizza Boxes And A Side of Breadsticks rule, which states "If your customer goes through 13 pizzas and a side of breadsticks before you're done describing how your service works, you're fired."
Can't spell frugality without "u"
Delivers Obsession with Highest Curious Ownership, A lot
13 Pizza Boxes and a side of breadsticks
The days of kitchens full of cheese sticks, chocolate covered almonds and hot and cold running Kombucha are over. If you're here for the ping pong table or the nap room, 2004 called and they have a job for you. Frugality is the name of the game these days, and all of us up on the 82nd floor really appreciate everything you are doing to save every day.
Delivers Obsession with Highest Curious Ownership, A lot
Delivers Obsession with Highest Curious Ownership, A lot
Delivers Obsession with Highest Curious Ownership, A lot
Let's face it, sometimes you only have eight things and there's room on the page for 9.
Jesus, seriously?
I know we hate popups too, but we saw you hesitate for just a second there and thought to ourselves, well maybe they're looking for some way to ask us to send them a huge amount of promotional email-based marketing, and so we just thought we'd ask...?