TheRobCloud PORTHOLE
"Compute"
You know what computers are, right? This is them in the cloud.
EC1
Infinitely better than EC0
MU
"Serverless." Support COBOL, PL/1 and Visual Basic.
"Storage"
Ever since we've had things, we've needed a place to put them. This is that.
S2
Everything goes here.
Note: charges are per TheRobCloud gigaseptyte which uses a septinary numbering system representation of the number of gigabytes. Can't figure out how many that is? Try using TheRobCloud Managed Septyte Translation service, only $4,995.00 per month!
TRC Superior Data lake
This data is cold, wet, and stormy in the winter.
IceCaps
Service is going away soon, get them while they're not hot.
Databases
They're spreadsheets that don't work right.
TsunamiDB
Whip your content into a frenzy.
tDS
Managed databases have never been so managed.
Redeye
Fuzzy memories of all your stuff.
TRC Porthole availability may be affected by scheduled maintenance windows, unscheduled maintenance windows, Windows 95, open bedroom windows, emergency maintenance, routine maintenance, undetected fiber cuts, low fiber diets, the Internet, Russia, high blood pressure, cholesterolemia, squirrels!, intergalactic radiation, high or low temperatures, room temperatures, whether the groundhog sees his shadow, and sunspots. Your router might also need to be unplugged and plugged back in.
Copyright © 2020 TheRobCloud - All Rights Reserved. Any content, comments or opinions expressed are purely personal to the author in their personal role of a person. No clouds were harmed in the creation of this website. Trademarked names are owned by their respective owners, not me. If this is not obviously a parody to you, please call with your credit card.
"Powered" by TheRobCloud "servers"
Jesus, seriously?
I know we hate popups too, but we saw you hesitate for just a second there and thought to ourselves, well maybe they're looking for some way to ask us to send them a huge amount of promotional email-based marketing, and so we just thought we'd ask...?
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